I'm sorry...

What's wrong with me?
Am I scary?
Do I frighten you away?
Or am I simply neat enough to keep around, but not enough to inspire passion.
Well, I want inspiration.
I was once petrified, paralyzed and terrified.
But yesterday I was called fearless by someone who didn't know me before.
I belong to more, I deserve more than to pine away after nothing.
The Lion's breath gave me color and life again,
And so I'll carve my fate out of the petrified stone that I once was.
I don't need another.
I am what I am.
I am who I am,
And I apologize to no one.

Not that girl...

"Hands touch, eyes meet
sudden silence, sudden heat.
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl.
He could be that boy,
But I'm not that girl.

Don't dream too far,
Don't lose sight of who you are,
Don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy,
I'm not that girl.

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in...

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl...
...I'm not that girl"

- "I'm Not That Girl", Wicked

The traumas of learning to dance

So on Tuesday I was working on a recital dance with one of my classes and teaching them a new jump for the piece (a tour en liar), when one little girl, Emmy Kate (who happens to be extremely opinionated and always has to tell me exactly what she thinks about everything, from my choreography to my music to the leotard I'm wearing) raises her hand and says, "Excuse me, but this jump seems to be very dangerous. If you did it wrong you could really hurt yourself". To which I responded, "Well, yes, but there are lots of things in dance that could be very dangerous if not done correctly. That's why it's so important to make sure that you learn how to do each step properly." So I broke down the mechanics of the jump for her and we went over and over it. Then the last thing I said was, "...when you're first learning a jump like this you can do it smaller and not as high until you develop muscle memory and are more comfortable and then you can do it really high and really big." At which point I proceeded to demonstrate what the jump looks like when done really high and really big. But as I pushed off the ground there was a loud POP and I collapsed to the ground with my ankle throbbing. As I'm instantly surrounded by 10 eight year-olds, I look up to see Emmy Kate, whose eyes are as big as dinner plates, and she says, "That's what I was afraid of". So, after all the time spent on it, I have to take that jump out of their dance because the poor child is so traumatized that I'll be lucky if I can get her to do any kind of jump within the next 10 years.

***For anyone concerned, my ankle is swollen and a little stiff and sore, but after some ice, ibrupropen and elevation I don't think there's any permanent damage.***

Loving and losing and flying and choosing...

I want to dream big, but still be able to live small
I want to defy gravity, but still know how to fall
I want to learn how to trust without ransoming my heart
I want to know when give up, and know when to start
I want to breathe with the wind and soar with the rain
I want to feel what I feel even if that feeling is pain
I want to live fully believing in laughter and tears
I want to learn when to ignore and when to listen to my fears
I want to never stop hoping that some things will change
I want to stop wanting everything to stay the same
I want to stand on the edge of my hopes and my dreams
I want to not worry that they'll fall apart at the seams
I want to believe that I deserve to be loved
I want to hold out for the one I've dreamed of
I want to dance and to dance and to dance and to dance
I want to awake without fear and fully take my next chance