Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Blah blah blahditty blah blah

I'm good at procrastination.
Even to the point of kind of living in denial of glaringly obvious facts....
Like the fact that I am officially, completely, undenyingly an adult (not only not a teenager, but even past the twenties...and really seriously, I am having a very hard time even typing that....even in making an ironical point about it)
Or that it's already November and the holidays & everything that comes with them is literally right around the corner.
I am kind of writing this in a weird attempt to force myself to accept reality and get my butt in gear.  Because, for as much of a procrastinator as I am, I am also TERRIFIED of slipping off into a coma again and suddenly realizing that it's 2020 and I've done nothing with my life.
I feel like I'm talking/writing in circles.  The same themes keep coming up, with no remedy.
I'm scared of getting old.
I'm scared of missing opportunities.  
I'm scared of change.
I need to find balance.
Blah blah blahditty blah blah.

I'm feel tired and numbed.  I feel like I should have more things figured out by now.  At the very least about myself....

Annnnd now I feel like a big whiner....maaayyybe I should call it a night and put the pity-party to rest.