And all will be absolved

Obsession beats through my heart

Pounding, deafening any attempt to be comfortable

An ache that brings tears to my eyes for lack of other suitable expression

I weep for the beauty that I do not know how to create

The longing to feel the art and passion flow

Tumbling, cascading through my body and out my fingertips

It lingers just beyond my grasp

In weariness I try to ignore it

Try to just rest, to be satisfied with normalcy

But just when I've almost convinced the world that I can be like the rest

Just when I've almost decided that the fear is stronger

And accepted it as my master

The fear that it will never work

It will never be good enough

Just when the numbness is almost complete

Then the hunger, the drive, the unquenchable fire pricks my soul

It will never let me rest

And I know it is useless to try to be normal

To try to be content

I will always want it

I am destined for this misery

Knowing that I will die without my art

But never fully conquering the fear that I will never attain it

Doomed if I do

Doomed if I don't

But the damnation I can accept is that which is accompanied by that lovely moment of creation

The purest ecstasy of the instant when all collides in perfection

I will drown to be alive

That is the torture that I choose

It is within that madness that will I find my sanity

And my peace