Depressing ramblings

What do you do when just nothing feels right?
I didn't ask for any of this and now it's my responsibility to deal with.
I know I'm whining, and I know these feelings are mostly due to PMS,
and I know that everyone has their burdens to bear.
But there are times (like today) that I just don't know if I can handle mine.
I feel alone. Utterly and completely.
I feel worthless and desperate and like a silly little girl that people simply put up with.
I know that I let people (at least some of them) make me feel like that.
I know that I am an intelligent person with lots of passion and feelings and emotions that sometimes (ok, a lot of the time) cloud my judgement.
I'm just so tired.
I'm tired of taking care of things.
I'm tired of feeling bad for not doing something right.
I'm tired of being sorry.
I'm so tired of being tired.
There are so many things that I want,
and I want them right now.
I feel like I have wasted so much time
and I dont' want to waste a second more.
I know I can't be in denial about my back any more
(I've let things go too far as it is),
but I don't think I have the strength to do this on my own.
This is the one thing in my life where, for as much as I complain about everything else, I have always been alone.
Like an outsider, like a freak.
And then I found someone who cared.
Someone who released the pressure and who made me feel special not just in spite of it,
but because of it.
I finally realized that I wasn't in this thing alone anymore.
I had someone who would be by my side and hold my hand the whole way.
But now here I am.
Freakishly alone again.