What's wrong with me??

Am I some kind of monster?

Sometimes my heart feels like a stone....or maybe more like a shelled walnut (like Angel's).

I want so badly to feel something that sometimes I think maybe I manufacture it.

Have I been playing games? Am I that desperate for attention? Am I that insecure that I will violate the trust (even if it's only implied) that someone I care about has placed in me?

And even as I sit here, mortified with myself, I can't honestly say that if I reversed time I would have probably done anything differently.

And that's fucked up.