Friday, November 09, 2007

inspiration

I'm lacking inspiration. I'm void of passion or creativity. The sparks that once fueled my very life, gradually and imperceptibly grew dimmer and dimmer until they are now dangerously close to extinction. There is no rush from a performance. No adrenaline butterflies to spurn me on. No tingle in the back of my brain that makes all the physical pain magically disappear. I find myself unconsciously counting the minutes 'til the end of each class, each rehearsal, even each performance. When did this happen? How did this happen? The one thing I am hanging on to, the one thing that keeps me from losing all faith in myself, are the moments when I see something or hear something or read something that is so beautiful, so well-done, so inspired, that I get this burst of frantic energy that makes me almost panic with the desire to create or be a part of something with at least a portion of it's significance. The fact that some things can still affect me in that way gives me hope that that spark hasn't completely burned out. That at witnessing a great work of art, I'm not simply impressed and in awe of it's beauty and ingenuity, but that I'm gripped with the need to create something of my own. Its not much, but that small fact makes me not completely give up on myself as an artist. I just need to fuel my spark; to re-discover my creativity; to redefine my inspiration.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home